You Hop, They Hop

03:30. The Munchies stormed our defenses. They had weather on their side. It was dank, in the low 60s with a cool, pleasant breeze.

Enchanted by a siren's call, we hovered to the car in search of an eatery. We drove 10 minutes to pay Bob's Big Boy a visit. The lights were on, but nobody was home. Continued on to Perkins, and were met with darkness. Traversed through a tangle of city streets for 10 minutes to Friendly's, and turned around in their dimly lit parking lot.

We backtracked to Steak N Shake and were immediately seated...and then waited for nearly 10 minutes in an empty restaurant to get some kind of service. I got up and walked out, Bug followed.

Off to IHOP. I was getting a little groggy at this point.

Bug went with the Appetizer Sampler ($4.99) -- battered deep fried chicken strips, mozzarella sticks, and onion rings. Ooh, I could snag something savory if I ordered a sweet dish. The cheesecake filled flaky pastry with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream drizzled with caramel ($4.99, $4.49 without the ice cream) sounded good.

Cheesecake burrito and vanilla ice cream

The cheesecake was creamy and the pastry shell was essentially a burrito that was [?deep] fried. Of course, the vanilla ice cream went well with the sourness of the cheesecake, and the caramel with the ice cream. I wish there were more banana slices!

After 6-7 bites of delectably prepared sugar, I began eyeing the basket of salt and grease, Bug, my sugar mound, and back to the contents in the checkered basket.

Bug was adrift in his own universe, smiling on the inside while munching on his crispy, fat onion rings with honey mustard and tomato sauce.

Cheese, chicken, and onions

It reminded me of the kind of happiness that Brittany had, a 4-year-old girl I once knew over 15 years ago, a daughter of a friend of mine, when she found a dirty branch lying in the grass.

She tapped me over the head a few times with the "magic wand," so I asked her to stop. She twirled about singing and "casting" on everything, then returned to me several minutes later with more incantations. So I swiped the wretched twig, broke it in half, and handed it back to her.

Of course, she wailed.

I'm still not sure why *I* felt bad. So I told her, "There, now you have TWO magic wands." Her red, swollen eyes, began to sparkle again. She stabbed me with two sticks. I pointed at her sternly. She quickly pranced off and played Tinkerbell elsewhere.

Anyway, the mozzarella sticks were hot but didn't uncontrollably ooze and burn like I expected, which was really nifty; however, it made me a bit suspicious. It was firm, yet viscous. I excitedly dunked the breaded stick into the honey mustard. As soon as it touched my tongue, I frowned. All was NOT right with the world.

It had horseradish in it.

Bug nabbed a few bites of cheesecake and ice cream and returned my dish.

The tomato sauce was standard fare marinara. I ate a few more bites of the cheese and tossed the remaining morsel back into Bug's basket. I had just enough to cleanse the cloying sensation from my mouth and returned to my cheesecake and vanilla ice cream.

The second round of salt was satisfied with a crispy and moist chicken strip. I'm still not sold on the [flavor and texture] virtues of breast meat, preferring dark meat. Bug finished off the last few bites of the cheesecake and vanilla ice cream.

05:30. Sated, with dawn creeping, we headed home to watch an episode of Dotch -- eggplant curry with ground beef over white rice vs curry with beef over curry omurice -- and succumbed to the Sandman's bidding.

- Cassaendra

IHOP
3511 Steelyard Dr
Cleveland, OH 44109-2387
(216) 741-0407