Bug vs the Volcano

We were driving the scenic route to Giant Eagle along Brookpark Road (Cleveland) to get some provisions for beef stew when we noticed a sign in front of Union House advertising fish fry and pierogi. Bug became excited and immediately turned the car around. I'm surprised the wheels didn't squeal.

We entered the restaurant and stood at the front waiting to be seated. The decor was dive bar first, restaurant afterthought, with POW-MIA and US Armed Forces flags hung along the far wall. I also noticed that we were easily 25 years younger than the next oldest person there.

Five minutes later, a busboy (younger than us), the only person who bothered to speak to us while we were waiting, mentioned we could seat ourselves. We really should have suspected the outcome.

With two roving servers, checking on ~15 tables of diners, we walked out after sitting 10 minutes without receiving even a nod of recognition or the ability to make eye-to-eye contact. Not sure how this was possible, but the backs of the servers' heads were always facing us. Why bother having a seat-yourself policy, if the servers aren't proficient enough to handle the job?

If you want something to eat or drink, you won't get it there. Lesson learned.

It was probably a good thing that we left, since we planned on sharing an order of fried fish, a shrimp basket, a bunch of pierogi, a cup of clam chowder, and something to drink (~$35.00). Can we rasp heart attack?

After shopping for groceries, we picked up a quick and healthy dinner...wait, let me wake up from my dream.

Bug was ravenous and wanted to take home something quick to eat before prepping and babysitting a pot of beef stew for 4-5 hours. Taco Bell was nearby.

Dinner is served...

Bug ordered a Volcano Big Box meal, 10 crunchy tacos, and 2 chili cheese burritos ($18.60).

Heh.

The Volcano Big Box includes 1 Volcano burrito, 1 Volcano taco, 1 hard-shelled taco, 1 order of Cinnamon Twists, and a large soda (Mountain Dew Baja Blast).

Baja Blast is reminiscent of those green, lime-flavored popsicles that come linked in slender, plastic rectangular packets, except carbonated and with a bit more concentrated citrus flavor.

Magma

I gobbled up two crunchy tacos and the Volcano taco. I've had the Volcano taco before and "spicy" never entered my mind. My taco was LOADED with Volcano cheese that, by the last bite of my taco, I was thinking, "WTF?" The heat had built up to the point that I required something cool to quell the burning.

Bug ate a few crunchy tacos and 1 burrito. As we munched on the Cinnamon Twists, we became aware of a pair of dark orbs belonging to a patiently seated shiba, staring longingly at each slightly sweetened cinnamon puff as they floated from packet to mouth.

They look like chicharrones, don't they?

Akemi was entranced. I gave in to her Jedi mind tricks -- is it a mind trick if I am cognizant? -- and offered her a morsel. She quickly attacked the spiral as if it were Styrofoam, by first dropping it from her mouth, followed by a few investigative licks. She then glared at it for a couple of seconds, picked it up, dropped it again, and finally gobbled it.

The bottom of the Volcano Big Box, when it was dropped as I took it out of the bag. Oops.

We have enough left over for breakfast and lunch tomorrow! The cool thing about Taco Bell's tacos is that, while the shell may not remain crunchy, they are still pretty good cold the following day. Fully prepped homemade and Mexican restaurant tacos never taste good cold or the next day.

Update: Bug ate the gigantic Volcano burrito for breakfast, describing it as lackluster, preferring their beef and bean burrito instead. Apparently, there were tortilla strips inside the burrito that were soggy by the time he consumed it. Also, he didn't experience the heat I did, because there was only a quarter-sized dollop of Volcano cheese in his entire burrito. Poor thing.

- Cassaendra