Black Friday

After a day of self-reflection for Thanksgiving...

'Tis the season for material conquests, fa-la-la-la-la la-la la la.

Black Friday.

It was our first foray into what we thought would be sheer madness, where nothing or no one is sacred -- kids in flannel one-piece pajamas crying in the corner, orphaned, or lying lifeless, trampled under the boots of possessed shoppers, and little old ladies brandishing .44 Magnum revolvers cocked to your head as you reach for the last Dutch apple pie candle on the shelf for $1.59.

We drove up 30 minutes prior to the midnight opening at a game store. The Old Navy nearby had a line of at least 100 people.

There were 8 drenched loons standing out in the cold rain at the game store. At least the rain stopped as we got out of the car and joined the line-up.

Thirty minutes felt like an hour as I stood there in a t-shirt and sweatshirt with Bug. 30°F wind howled from the north every 3-5 minutes. To make it interesting, large globules of cold rain intermittently drenched us all as if we were standing under a rotating schoolyard sprinkler.

At 12:01, everyone trotted into the store in an orderly fashion, 8 people before us and around 20 people behind us, to stand in line at the register. Requests were fulfilled by either a runner or the cashier. Of the 8 people who came before us, only 3 people were present to purchase games or systems. The first person came with 3 friends, the second person was with their mother, and the third person came with a friend.

We ventured into a Wal-Mart to see for ourselves what hundreds of humans armed with carts thrown together in a Black Friday frenzy would conjure.

It was a mess. Clothes were flung everywhere, draped along cardboard boxes, jammed between crevices, and lying on the floor. Games, DVDs, and toys were treated as poorly. People were standing in lines everywhere. People were crawling everywhere. People were yelling everywhere. Carts were being driven haphazardly like they were possessed.

Those poor employees. I no longer felt miserable for standing out in the rain for 31 minutes.

- Cassaendra