Forbidden Fruit

Just in time for summer, Burger King has dived into the pit with Fire-Grilled Ribs.

I had to find out for myself whether they would be teddy bears or the real stuff. Not desiring to invest very much into this venture, we bought 3 ribs.

3 rib package

Are they processed?
It's real pork meat with bone, not ground then reconstituted.

How do they taste?
They aren't bad. The ribs are on the salty side and have a smoky, charred flavor. They taste better than a lower-end restaurant that does not specialize in ribs. Obviously, they don't taste like ribs that come from a rib joint.

They look dry. Is it tough?
They are fairly moist, not slippery with grease. I wasn't offered barbecue sauce, so I didn't know this was available to smother over the meat until I saw images of others' ribs. I am not a saucy kind of gal so the availability didn't matter but I'm sure those who enjoy their meat messy would prefer the sauce. They aren't fall off the bone or alien-meat (think: beef broccoli), but they are tender and appropriately textured.

How much do they cost?
The ribs are rather diminutive and cost around $1 per morsel at $2.99 for 3, $5.69 for 6, and $7.19 for 8 ribs. The meatier rib took around 4-5 bites for me to finish.

Would I eat it again?
Yes, but. While they are pricey for what you get, I have never been to a rib joint that sells ribs by the rib. If you want to scratch that smoked meat flavor itch and don't want to walk out spending $20, this may work. It won't win any rib cook-off contests, but you could do a lot worse.

I'm also restricting my caloric intake. Those 3 ribs would probably cover 1-1/2 meals if not more.

Did you see the char on dem bones?

I am surprised BK's general counsel gave the green light to serve bone-in ribs with the hubbub some pediatricians are stirring, advocating changing hot dogs because they are a choking hazard. These bones will probably be on their target soon if it becomes a regular menu item (which I doubt).


Teddy bears?
When I was a junior or senior in high school, our cafeteria began serving meat patties with a layer of maroon-colored sauce for lunch. I didn't know what they were so I called them teddy bears because they looked like teddy bears.

Baby bear

Okay, maybe I embellished on the color a bit. They were actually a little greyer. I could have spent hours locating a paper copy of the school menu but I didn't really care. I enjoyed the Chinet cardboard plate textured slab of meat swabbed with the slightly sweet and smoky sauce. At that point in my life, I had not had American-style ribs.

While talking with Bug 2 years ago about school lunches, he reminisced about the riblets he enjoyed (not loved, enjoyed). I recall nodding blankly, no real clue what he was talking about but happy that he enjoyed those riblets. I figured they were tiny ribs, like piglets are to pigs.

He apparently detected that I got lost along the way and began to describe the dish. Ground, formed meat patties with char lines doused in barbecue sauce. I placated him and responded with a nod.

Later that week, we walked along the freezer aisle at a grocery store. Bug pointed to a box of riblets, a flat patty, with little protrusions along its length mimicking ribs and bones. I blinked a few times. The #-shaped meat evoked a long buried memory of eating teddy bears in school 20+ years earlier.

Enlightenment!

- Cassaendra